What

Using our proprietary stack of interdependent toolsets, we will add untestable and fundamentally incomprehensible complexity to your infrastructure until the Jenga tower that holds up your enterprise is so tall you will be regulatorily obligated to obtain a building permit just to picture it in your mind. No single human psyche will be able to think about the entire architecture without falling into a deep and ultimately fatal coma. Your packet flows will be so complex it will require timesharing a network of five Watsons and a D-Wave to analyze the route traffic takes from your laptop to the load balancer.

But that’s not what we do, that’s how we do. What we do is join your naive cloud initiative and deliver reports so incomprehensible your fragile grip on reality will be tested. When you hand these reports to your C-suite, instinctual self-protective and self-aggrandizing properties of the primitive consciousness will make their minds believe what must be the truth: everything is on track. Try to quantify the value of that. Spoiler alert: you can’t. Why are you still clicking links? Get a PO on the fast track to approval and contact us immediately.